Let’s face it. Not everyone was born with a spanner in their hand. Some of us open the bonnet and stare into the mechanical void with nothing but terror in our hearts.
But there’s a certain kind of respect that comes with sounding like you know your way around a car, even if your real talent is Googling “Why is my steering wheel shaking?”
So, whether you're heading to a long weekend, loitering at a servo, or stuck making small talk with the father-in-law, here’s your go-to guide to blagging your way through any car convo.
Step 1: Always comment on tyres
This is a classic entry point. Doesn’t matter what’s going on; just squint at someone’s car and say:
“Running low profile? Wouldn’t trust that on a wet road.”
Or:
“You rotate those recently? Can’t beat even wear.”
Bonus points if you nudge a tyre with your foot and look thoughtfully into the distance. Tyre chat sounds technical, but no one’s ever going to challenge you on it. It’s the car version of asking how someone’s kids are doing.
Step 2: Learn exactly one engine spec and repeat it forever.
Pick a car you’ve heard of. Let’s say the Ford Ranger. Memorise a fact like “The 2.0-litre bi-turbo diesel’s got about 500Nm of torque.” Now use that line in completely unrelated situations.
“Oh yeah, that’s decent, but not as punchy as the Ranger’s bi-turbo. You know, 500Nm.”
Say it while looking at a Camry. Say it at Macca’s. Say it while helping someone move a fridge. No one will stop you.
Step 3: Liberal use of the word "Aftermarket"
Slap “aftermarket” in front of anything and you sound like a garage-dwelling wizard.
“Those stock taillights? Yeah, should go aftermarket.”
“Mate, that exhaust note’s too tame. You want something aftermarket, a real deep rumble.”
It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about. Exhausts, rims, air filters, floor mats – just say “aftermarket”. You’re instantly an enthusiast.
Step 4: Shake your head at anything European
This one’s risky, but satisfying. Whenever someone brings up a European brand, give a slow head shake and say, “Yeah, nice drive… But wait till the servicing hits.”
You don’t even need to know what the servicing costs are. Everyone just assumes they’re ridiculous, and now you look like the kind of person who thinks long-term.
Step 5: Ask, “Is that the facelift?” Even if it isn’t
You don’t need to know if a car’s had a facelift; just ask.
“Oh, is that the facelifted version?”
Most people won’t know either, and they’ll nod awkwardly, unsure if they’re driving something upgraded or outdated. You’ve already won the conversation.
Step 6: Casually mention "Torque Curve"
Nobody knows what a torque curve really is. You don’t. Admit it. But if you say something like:
“Yeah, it’s got the grunt, but that torque curve’s a bit flat around 2,000rpm,”
Everyone will pause and assume you’ve recently rebuilt a Subaru from scratch. You're now the group mechanic.
Step 7: Know when to call in backup.
Eventually, someone’s going to call your bluff. They’ll ask about dual-mass flywheels or suspension geometry or throw open their bonnet and ask for your opinion on a ticking sound.
Don’t panic.
Just nod, look serious, and say, “Mate, I’ve got a guy at easyauto123 who knows cars back-to-front. Let’s go look at some beauties down at the car yard, and we’ll ask him then.”
Boom. You’ve dodged the question, delegated like a legend and pointed them straight to the pros.
Because while sounding like a car expert is one thing, actually buying, selling, or checking over one? That’s when the bluffs might stop cutting it.
Fake it ‘til you park it
Knowing about cars isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about sounding confident, throwing around a few key phrases, and knowing when to tag in the experts.
And if you really want to look the part? Rock up in a quality used car that’s already been road-tested, safety checked, and hand-picked by actual specialists.
You’ll find one at easyauto123. No pressure. No nonsense. Just good cars, good service, and absolutely no need to Google “how do brakes work” ever again.
